“I feel a bit of a veteran now when it comes to counselling and what this latest course has taught me is that we never stop changing as people.”

Just fucking do it.

That’s fast becoming my new motto. I work in advertising and Nike’s Just Do It slogan has been around for as long as I can remember. The slogan is as synonymous with the brand as the Nike tick logo. However, can you tell me what the slogan for Adidas or Reebok is? I don’t know, that’s because Nike hit gold with their strapline and that’s the reason they have continued to use it for so long.

Whilst there are a million excuses not to train, not to get out of bed, not to get up off the couch… just do it. It’s a mantra that is so simple but so effective. For a long time I’ve been wanting to do different things but made excuses to put them off. I am the king of procrastination and especially having mental health issues, you will look for any excuse that keeps you within your comfort zone.

So my new motto is like Nike, but because my brand is a little more rough around the edges, my slogan is basically, ‘Just fucking do it you idiot.’ That’s not quite punchy enough though so, ‘Just fucking do it’ works nicely.

I’ve started doing a lot of new things since I last blogged and this has really helped battle my depression. In fact, I got away from blogging for so long that starting again became a task in itself but I’m committing myself to write more, because it’s therapeutic for myself and hopefully others get something from it too.

Onto the things I’ve done…

I’ve wanted to make vlogs for ages but thought I needed a good camera and a new laptop to house decent editing software. I’m on a course at work though and we’re learning to explore loads of new creative outlets. What I’ve learnt is that the best camera… is the one you already own. Just start. So far I’ve shot and edited 3 vlogs, using just my phone. They’re a bit rough around the edges and frankly a little bit crap, but so am I. However, I’m trying to better myself constantly so the work I put out there will eventually get better through practise… I hope.

Rivington Pike from my first Vlog

I just took the dogs for a walk as the sun was setting and I came back with a bunch of video to edit.

Last week, I recorded my first podcast, another thing that I’ve wanted to do for ages but put it off because I didn’t believe I could do it. Just fucking do it though and you’ll figure it out as you go along. Again it was for my work course and I had so little time to do it that me and my girlfriend actually recorded a 22 minute podcast on our drive into work. We couldn’t find the time at home so we just did it in the car. There are no excuses.

What else have I been up to? I started acting classes, that was a biggie. I was in a couple of shows at school but then had anxiety issues around fearing the judgement of others so never really pursued it after that. Now that I’m 30 (31 next week eeeeek) I’m chasing my dream of writing films and signed up to acting just to meet other film-type people, however I’ve realised that I really like performing again. It’s brought something different and has helped boost my confidence in and out of the class.

I also started counselling again shortly after Christmas. Since my Dad died I’ve had a few different types of counselling, from bereavement, to support, to CBT therapy so I wasn’t really keen on going back to it because I kinda felt like I’ve been there, done that and I was still depressed. However, my relationship with my girlfriend was becoming strained and she pushed me to explore private counselling. I made excuses that I didn’t have enough money… whilst then spending £20 on junk food without blinking an eye. Eventually I took the plunge and I’ve had 6 sessions now and I’m taking a break again for a while.

I feel a bit of a veteran now when it comes to counselling and what this latest course has taught me is that we never stop changing as people. If we are constantly changing then so should our therapy. What worked to cheer me up last week isn’t necessarily going to work this week. What I’ve learned is basically… evolve or die, that’s another motto for you.

So basically, I’m back… it’s been ages since I blogged because I wasn’t sure who I was trying to be and how the blog reflects me but I’m big on expressing myself. If there’s a creative outlet I’m all over it, I try and write anything I can from films and tv programs to haikus and poetry… I’ve started writing monologues as part of my acting too and I thought, ‘Oh this is meant to be a travel blog, I can’t post this or that.’ It’s my website though, it’s a reflection of me and I want to start posting more about mental health and all the things I do to try and tame the beast that is depression/anxiety.

I’ve been the best possible version of myself since Christmas and it’s because I stopped telling myself I couldn’t and I just fucking did it.

Here’s to more happy days.

Paul Day Away