What I should have asked myself, ‘Is it still going to happen?’ ‘And if it is still happening, then will worrying change anything?’

When we were younger, my friends and I would always journey to Leeds festival but every year I would try and convince them to give Download a try. Unfortunately, within my friend group I was the only person who was interested in heavier rock and metal. Therefore I never got the opportunity to attend… (bastards).

Fast forward to mine and Chloé’s first trip to Download in 2016 – aka Chinese Year of the Dead Celebrities. When I was young and stupid I didn’t want to go to a festival with Chloé because I was so used to diving into the mosh pits that I thought she couldn’t hack it and I honestly didn’t want the burden of having to protect her / the guilt of leaving her behind (I was very selfish in our relationship when I was younger).

However, as you get, older, wiser, more tired and more fragile, you kinda think to yourself, ‘I probably couldn’t deal with those pits anymore, I probably couldn’t even deal with the camping and the lack of showers.’ The Sunday line-up in 2016 consisted of Iron Maiden, Shinedown and Disturbed and after some nudging from Chloé we booked some last minute tickets to go for the day. I agreed because I was approaching my 30s and thought my chance to go to Download whilst I was still young was slipping away, plus when I’d been to festivals in recent times I had been happier to hang further back and avoid the young, athletic people throwing their sweaty bodies at each other.

Here’s just a few pics to highlight how the great British weather could have ruined our day, but it didn’t. We arrived and saw Halestorm, Shinedown, Disturbed, Maiden and had an incredible day. Before I move on, here’s a little tip for you if you’re going to a festival just for the day. Simply take clean clothes with you and leave them in the car, after getting soaked all day it was absolute bliss to put on a clean pair of comfy joggers and hoody. Also have a can of energy drink waiting in the car for you to keep you awake on the long journey home.

So, fast forward again to this year. My favourite band of all time is Guns ‘n’ Roses, I saw them in London last year and they were headlining on Saturday. Then Avenged Sevenfold were announced for Friday, a band who we had listened to on a loop when we first got together as a couple, Chloé even stole my City of Evil CD and I had to buy a new one… and then to cap it off Ozzy Osbourne and Shinedown on Sunday and we just couldn’t refuse.
Now because this blog is about mental health too, I want to share my experiences / anxieties before the festival. We had decided we were going to the festival but I didn’t buy tickets for ages because I didn’t want to camp. I imagine I wasted loads of hours looking at hotels, airbnbs, glamping etc and in the end here’s what I found. All the hotels locally were either fully booked or cost more than the actual festival tickets, you could stay further away but again that’s causing more hassle travelling to and from the site. The glamping is also hilariously expensive in my opinion and if you’re booking after waiting to hear the headlines acts like we did, then you are already late to the party. Save yourself some stress, save yourself some time and just bite the bullet and camp with the other peasants.

We booked camping but then that allowed me to get even more stressed in the run up to the event. We had camped at Wilderness Festival the previous year but that was a lot more laid back, this was going to be 3 adrenaline-fuelled days of heavy rock, that meant dancing, thrashing, SWEATING. I can’t tell you how anxious I get about sweating, it’s so stupid, everyone does it and you need to do it but I get embarrassed and anxious about it.

This led me to actually packing WAAYYY more than I needed to, I must have taken 3x the amount of t-shirts I needed and therefore carried more weight.

As well as getting anxious about sweating all the time, I was terrified that it was going to rain again like 2016 and that our tent would be full of water. I was worried that we would spend too much money, so we bought food for like 5 meals and a bunch of snacks. I was even concerned that I hadn’t listened to the Download 2018 Spotify playlist enough so I didn’t know which bands I was going to listen to when we arrived.

However I can share with you that these anxieties shouldn’t eat you up. Yes, maybe you should take an extra t-shirt  in case it rains, you should take a bit of food so you’re not spending loads of money but realistically these nerves were eating away at me for weeks.

What I should have asked myself, ‘Is it still going to happen?’ ‘And if it is still happening, then will worrying change anything?’

Here’s what actually happened, we had a cooked breakfast on the Friday on the way to the festival at a pub and then we had breakfast the following two days on a little camping stove. We left for the arena each day around midday and didn’t return until about midnight, therefore, all that extra food weight was unnecessary. I also wore the same t-shirt all day Friday that I had travelled in and bought an official download t-shirt and wore that on Sunday. Therefore I wore one of 7 t-shirts I had packed in my rucksack… ONE!!!!

All that extra weight is important because it’s a long slog from the car park to the camp site, and you realistically have to carry everything for the weekend in one go. This year we bought a £15 sack truck from The Range with some bungees cords, this was much better than renting a wheelbarrow from the Download staff for £20 and I honestly don’t think we’d have transported everything without it.

I always struggle to get used to new surroundings and I was stressed when we arrived because they took ages checking our bags so I missed Dragonforce which I made clear to Chloe that I wasn’t happy about. My tip here would be that after you’ve settled on a campsite and spot, just dump for stuff then eat and drink and have a little 5 minutes rest. I know you’ll be eager to get the tent up but I found myself snapping at Chloe when we were trying to put the tent up, all because you use a lot of energy getting there and need to replenish. Basically I became a hangry little bitch.

Another way to combat anxiety for me is booze, I actually don’t drink all that much when it’s just me and Chloé but what the booze did for me this year, was just helped me relax. My biggest problem is not being able to switch my brain off and a few ciders before we headed into the arena just allowed me to chill the hell out more than I would normally be able to. #pleasedrinkresponsibly

What Download taught me is that almost all my anxious thoughts come PRE the event. Once I’m there, I’m pretty happy. Surrounded by like-minded people expressing themselves and being who they choose to be away from society’s judgemental eyes. If there was ever a haven that is close to being anxiety-free it is a festival, even when little negative thoughts creep in like, ‘OMG I must stink’ you just remind yourself that there’s people who have been there for 5 days, people who haven’t washed, people who should wash – just have a wash ffs. We kept clean by buying these moisture pads, again from The Range. You pour a little water on them and then they act as a sponge with suds on it, give yourself a wash and then it dries within a couple of minutes. Another festival hack for you 🙂

I forgot to mention but I was worried about the food situation once we were inside the arena too. We’re both Vegetarian but Chloe also has a dairy allergy so we have to eat Vegan food most of the time. The last festival we had been to *cough* V festival *cough* was pretty poor and only had one Vegan stall. However, when we got the download app it put our mind at ease because it listed all the food vendors and we had some pretty amazing food whilst we were there.

I should probably give you a quick summery of the actual festival really before I leave… it was fucking unreal!!

Honestly one of the greatest weekends ever and after waiting for it for about 15 years to spend the full weekend there I could not have been happier. I was happy to camp, happy to be in the moment listening to some of my favourite bands, discovering new ones and very happy to relive my youth by diving into a circle pit for 2 songs whilst Chloé watched on from the side.

Just try to remember, is worrying going to change anything? Only worry about the things within your control, then just relax and enjoy the ride.

‘Til we meet again Download…

Paul Day Away